I am not going to bang on, about what all the astrologers, astronomers and mystic thrill seekers have been sharing about with this extreme and complicated celestial alignment etc but talk about what happened to me and my family. The build up to this event has been intense to put it mildly. It began for us at the end of January when my husband was made redundant-unexpectedly. Shortly after he got a call from Eire to say his Mum was dying and he needed to be there. Her death was traumatic for all of us. It bought out unhealed wounds from childhood and beyond for him and his siblings. He came back from Eire a shadow of himself-deep in grief. On his return he received a diagnosis of a cancer that had to be operated on in the next couple of months .
Money troubles start mounting and the world begins to feel like a hostile place. How are we going to pay the bills? Put food on the table? Despite all my training, and understanding of the Universe, I succombed to panic and depression and felt like pulling the duvet over my head and never getting up again. Swamped, overwhelmed, realising how poorly we have managed our finances over the years and worrying how we are going to cope. All this put a tremendous stress on our relationship and we ended up snipping at each other instead of supporting.
The day of the eclipse arrived and here we couldn’t see it at all as it was covered by thick heavy cloud-a reflection of what was being experienced at home I felt. It got colder and a bit darker and that was it. I felt very disappointed. The day continued as any other day. Then something happened which was the final straw-some people who I had counted on as family and loved finally showed their true colours and I was devastated. I collapsed into a sobbing heap-utterly defeated! Betrayed and wounded. Couldn’t get any lower. I dragged myself up and drove to my eldest sons place as at this point was unable to communicate with my husband at all. He welcomed me in, made tea and just sat and listened while it all poured out………………he hugged me, looked straight into my eyes and very gently told me to stop being a victim! Wow not what I was expecting! He told me to face the people who I felt betrayed me and tell them the real truth about how I felt. To deal with the money stuff instead of worrying about it. To let go any ”hoocha” that the grieving family had thrown as it belonged to them not us. He reminded me that Dad had to deal with the cancer and loose weight and get fit and that’s his job not mine. He held me as I sobbed and told me he loved me and that I was an amazing Mum. At that point the sun shone through and the grey skies parted and the power of love was revealed in all its glory.
So I left his place with a re-newed sense of possibility and new beginnings-determined to deal with the things I can and relax about those I can’t. When I got home I could hear my husband playing guitar and singing-which was strange as he hadn’t done that for a while. I went into the sitting room and he was smiling and dancing around with his guitar looking really happy. “You’ll never guess what’s happened?” While you were out I had a big realisation. I’ve got to stop being a victim- victim of my dis-ease, of my family, of my relationship. I am so lucky I have you and the boys and I’m loved. I have to deal with the things I can in a positive way and relax about the rest!”
So here we are-on the surface nothing has changed- we still have bills to pay and families to deal with and disease and all the stuff that life chucks at us BUT we have LOVE and that will get us through.