Category Archives: My Family

Shamanicplanet offers Airbnb

 

If you are looking for a Shamanic getaway why not come and stay here in East Kent with us at Champlain’s Well.  A beautiful 17th century house  with easy access to the continent and the World Heritage site of Canterbury.  During your visit there will be the option for Shamanic therapies.  Contact Seersha for further info 07809722097cw3cw4

cw1cw2

My Guru-Silas

I spent the last week in bed with a dose of flu, which is quite something, as I don’t usually do flu. I had plenty of time whilst lying there to think. This is, I generally find, a dangerous occupation! Like most people these days I lead a busy sometimes too busy existence and to have the luxury to stop and study the wallpaper can be a bit of a shock. I found plenty to dwell on and pick over. Most of it the trivial rubbish that pops up to the surface as soon as we start to meditate.

In my dim, distant past I was a sannyasin of the Indian Guru, Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh-latterly known as Osho. Now he was a Master, with a deep understanding of how far the Westerner had moved from the Art of Meditation. He came up with a number of special dynamic meditations for us that enabled us to remove the clutter and get to the still centre. His methods were unorthodox at the time but really worked for many people. However, stuck in bed and feeling grotty I was unlikely to jump up and begin a Kundalini or Nataraj meditation!

My most recent teacher- Don Juan Nunes del Prado’s wise words came to me. One of the practices he teaches involves discovering an appropriate teacher for all the levels of existence and my level One teacher is Silas my beloved hound! He is a large lad with a gentle soul-unless provoked-who loves the simple things in life. He loves to lie in the sun, chase birds, eat, sleep and play with Pixie, my husband’s dog. That’s it-nothing more and nothing less. While I was in bed he curled up beside me-luckily I have a kingsize as Silas is a Bastiff -Boxer cross mastiff-who looks very similar to a Dogues de Bordeaux. He doesn’t suffer from worrying about this that and the other-he delights in the garden and nature and is truly an enlightened being-at one with everything. So I thought if he can do it why not me? So we lay there together, accepting what was and an extraordinary thing happened-I discovered that I was happy. How bizarre…to be ill in bed and actually happy. I looked around and realised how amazingly lucky I am. I have a warm place to sleep and recover, food when I need it, a family around me and friends. What else is there? Everyday when the sun rises I am blessed. Everyday I am with my family, I am blessed. Everyday I sit in the sun, I am blessed. Everyday I find food on my table I am blessed. Everytime I sleep and awake I am blessed Everyday I take the time to play and sing, I am blessed. So in gratitude to Silas- a great Guru- I say thank you -though chasing birds not my thing really…. but maybe I should give it a try!

Silas and Pixie

I have just downloaded some photos from my phone and decided to share some lovely pictures of Silas (the brown boy) and Pixie (our Rotty).

Pixie relaxing

Pixie relaxing

Vampire Dog

Vampire Dog
It must be love...

It must be love...

What a handsome chap!

What a handsome chap!

A little log to chew.

A little log to chew.

Image0012

Something interesting to smell

Something interesting to smell

What do you mean hangover????

What do you mean hangover????

Hope you enjoyed the pics!

Family Challenges

Its taken me quite some time to write this blog for the reason of family illness.  My middle son Fergus returned from University very ill and I have been dealing with him to the exculsion of everything else.  I’ve had to cancel  drum making workshops, appearances at Mind Body and Spirit festivals  scheduled for July and stop treating people to use my energy for him and the family.  This has been the most challenging experience of my life.  Its called into question eveything I thought I was sure of and tested me to my limit.  The process continues and will do so for the foreseeable future.  I feel as if I have been thrown in the deep end without knowing how to swim and I am learning fast to stop me drowning.

The support from friends and family has been amazing.  So many folks praying for him and sending us all Light.  In my darkest hours the Grandmothers kept my head above the water…just and I thank them for that.  How anyone can deal with these mega challenges life throws at you without a Spirit life I cannot comprehend?  So surely without the Divine I would have drowned. So thanks to all on this plane who have prayed and kept us in Light and thanks to all the Spirits who held us.

We are still dealing with Fergus’s health issues and his healing is  within his own hands and now comes the next big lesson for me…letting go…No matter how clearly I see the whole picture- it not my picture to see.  Its his life and destiny and that must be  done in his own way  The powerlessness of my situation over the recent times has been a major issue for me to deal with-as I am usually a person with clear vision and someone who works by making things come together and work-a fixer.  Well here is something I can’t fix, here is something beyond my capabilities……..Ken Littlefish Durrant once told me that is arrogant to ask for healing for someone else for we don’t know Great Spirits plan for that person but that we can pray that Great Spirit opens the door for them and shows them the Path for their own destiny.

Great Spirit open the door for Fergus

So he can see the Path laid out before him

And may that Path be one of Joy and Love

With the blessings of the Divine Light

Ho

Meeting with the Goddess-A Mother’s Story

When the children were younger my husband got a job in Germany and as a family we all decided to take the plunge and move there together.  It was a difficult decision as we were so happy living where we were but we needed bread on the table so the choice was made.  Rupti found us a beautiful house, on a Lake in a small Franconian village called Weisendorf.  We rented our cottage out in Devon and left one cold December day.

We were welcomed into our new life and soon made friends.  I was very homesick though and missed the network of good friends and family I had at home.  The language was a barrier to begin with but pretty quickly managed to get myself understood at the shops , schools etc.  As everyone believes, we thought the children would settle very quickly but it became apparent that Fergus was having trouble.  He was being bullied at school and was generally an unhappy soul.  It took us a while to realise that he had hearing problems, which he had been able to deal with in England, but because of having to learn a new language, was unable to cope with anymore.  He simply couldn’t hear well enough to pick up new words.  He was also having difficulties with his sight which we soon sorted out by going to a good eye doctor.  We decided to take him and Cai out of the state education system and send them to a Montessori school where happily they both began to thrive.  Although by this point Fergus had decided he was not going to learn German and utterly refused to speak anything but English! Thankfully the school worked with this.

While this was happening Jago was at home with me and we would attend Kindergerchen (Playgroup) together a few mornings a week.  I still felt homesick and was struggling with it all generally.  Its so hard to feel safe as a Mother when you can’t really totally communicate with those who need to know what’s happening with your children and the problems with Fergus had really made me realise how far from home I was!

We bought a Camper Van and decided to go away for a week testing it out.  We jumped in and headed South. We were having a great time and eventually ended up in Switzerland, by this point we needed a supermarket visit.  There was a toy train inside by the tills where you put money in and the kids could have a ride.  While we were paying for the shopping the boys had a turn each on the train……..then it happened…..something that would change my life forever!

There was a loud scream and I looked up and saw Jago lying on the floor.  Cai came rushing over, very upset crying “Jago’s hurt himself!”.  Rupti and I ran over leaving the shopping and went to pick Jago up and comfort him.  Small boys often hurt themselves and this didn’t seem any different to any tumble.  The manager of the shop insisted on calling a Doctor who checked Jago over and pronounced him fine.  Jago was still very upset and I noticed that the floor was marble and had no rubber matting around it.  I made a mental note to complain about this later and went back to pay for the shopping.  We carried on our journey and that night arrived in Austria.  We ate and went to bed.  At about 2am Jago woke up screaming…I mean really screaming.  It was horrendous.  We were on a campsite-didn’t know where the phone was-didn’t know what to do.  Rupti left to find a phone and call an ambulance while I tried to calm Jago and the other boys who were really upset hearing Jago wailing.  After what seemed an eternity Rupti came back and said an ambulance was on its way.  The ambulance took us to a nearby clinic.  By the time we got there Jago had stopped crying and was very quiet.  I explained what had happened and they prodded and poked him and took him for an X-ray.  They checked for dilated pupils and other symptoms of head injury and once again pronounced him fit and sent us on our way with pain-killers for him.

We decided to go home as we’d been so rattled by the experience the thought of holidays just wasn’t right anymore.  It was a long drive.  I sat in the back with Jago on my lap and for the first time in my life since I was a child I started to pray.  I looked out of the van window at the sky and thought of God.  The God of Judgement, God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit……but where was God the Mother?  It was Her that I needed…she would understand.  So I called Her and I prayed that Jago would be alright.  My instinct told me that he was far from alright but now 2 Doctors had told me he was fine and to stop worrying.  So again I prayed…”Let Jago be ok…don’t let him die……”

I was so upset that I insisted we stop and find another hospital.  By this time my husband was beginning to wonder if I’d lost the plot but we stopped and saw another Doctor who did the same checks, asked the same questions and once again sent us one our way with painkillers.

Finally we arrived home late at night and all went to bed.  Jago seemed to be peaceful so once again with a prayer in my heart I went to bed.  In the morning I went to see Jago and still my heart was full of worry.  He wasn’t right.  I couldn’t say what wasn’t right but he wasn’t right.  I woke my husband up and insisted once again we go and find a Doctor.  It was a Saturday morning and the nearest Doctor open was a half hour drive away so once more we all piled into the van and headed towards a surgery.  This time it was a woman Doctor-she did all the same tests and came to the same conclusion as the others- a bit of concussion perhaps but nothing to worry about.  At this point I just broke down.  I couldn’t take the worry anymore.  She looked at my husband in a sympathetic way and suggested for my sake to take Jago to the Emergency Clinic in Erlangen to put my mind at rest!

Arriving at the hospital I carried Jago in.  It was now 4 days since he fell.  I went to reception and explained what had happened.  The duty Doctor came out did the usual tests and once again came to the conclusion that Jago was fine.  However as a precaution they would keep Jago in for 24 hours to observe him. Still they made me feel like I was an hysterical woman making a fuss out of nothing.

Finally we got to the children’s ward and were met by a very young doctor.  It was his first week and he was obviously nervous.  Again he performed all the tests and found nothing.  He looked me in the eye and asked. “Are you worried?” I broke down and sobbed  “There is something wrong with him.  I know it!” “Well I am new to this” he says “I am going to trust your instinct.  I’ll arrange a scan.”  He called downstairs and a scan was organised.  I went down with Rupti and Jago.  Rupti went into the control room and I stayed with Jago in the scanner room. It was a terrifying machine for a little boy so as he lay there I started to tell him a story.  I watched the faces in the other room through the glass and as the scanner moved over my son’s head  I could see their expressions changing from good humour to anxiety to panic.  Rupti came into the room in a hurry and took my hand. “Jago has a massive brain clot and needs and emergency operation.  If the clot ruptures  he’ll die!”

Below is a copy of the scan taken.  As you can see on the right hand side is a large oval shaded area.  That is the haematoma.

jagos-scan0

Suddenly all hell broke lose.  There were Doctors and nurses running all over the place.  Jago was put back on his trolley and was pushed at great speed out of the scanner room and down a long corridor.  I had to take my shoes off to keep up-they were running so fast.  As we got to the operating theatre forms were thrust into my hand to sign-I scribbled my signature, gave Jago a kiss and he disappeared through the double doors. A neuro-surgeon had been called and he came to talk to us while Jago was being prepared. He said ” Your son is dangerously ill.  The heamatoma could burst at any minute. Its a miracle he is still alive.  The haematoma is so large it is giving him brain displacement.  We are going to have to remove the paretal bone in his skull to scrape it out.  You must be prepared for the worst, he has a slim chance of survival and if he does survive there is a very strong possiblity of severe brain damage and epilepsy!

There were the words any Parent never would like to hear.  My world collapsed in grief and fear.  My beautiful boy who made me sing was dying and I couldn’t do anything.  The Doctor said the operation would take a couple of hours and they would let us know as soon as there was any news Then came the longest 2 hours of my life.  My husband and I went outside and walked around in a daze.  We found a chapel but it was closed.  So we both stood by the door and rested our heads against it and began to pray in earnest.  I opened my heart to God the Mother.  I shared the deep anguish I was feeling,  I asked for Her help and comfort, I asked that Jago be given the chance of Life, I prayed that all would be well.  The 2 hours stretched to 3 then 4….still no news….finally 4 and a half hours later we got word that the operation was over and he was still alive but he was in intensive care.  My husband immediately went to see him and soon after I did.  It was a shock..his little body was twitching as he was begining to regain consciousness….there were tubes coming out of his skull, nose, arms.  He looked so helpless like a new born babe or an ancient old man.  Then he open his eyes and as I gazed into them I knew he was ok.  Jago was still there!  I sobbed and sobbed in relief.  The neuro-surgeon came over to us and said. “It was a much more difficult operation than we’d expected.  Some of the haematoma had hardened and was difficult to remove.  He is an amazing little boy, I have never seen anything like it before.  He has such a strong constitution that his body compensated for all the pressure the haematoma was causing and he showed no classical symptoms at all of head injury.   It really is remarkable as he could have died at any point from the moment he hit his head.  To survive shows a massive will to live.”  He then turned to me and said ” This is a teaching hospital and I would like to ask your permission  to use Jago’s case for the students.  Jago has given us a really clear message, that no matter what we think as professional Doctors, no matter how sure we are that everything is OK we MUST listen to the Mother.  If she says something is wrong we MUST trust this!”

I went outside and looked up at the night sky.  I held my arms up and opened my heart.  There were no words only an enormous out pouring of gratefulness and love and as I stood there I was almost swept away by wave of love like I had never felt before…..immense and beautiful….timeless and healing……Mother to Mother……….I was held in Her arms and cradled like a child…..Her child……Her children………….That moment changed me.

I stayed with Jago in the hospital for 3 weeks.  He slept on top of me as I held him close every second. Because of the tubes he lay on his back on my body  and he called this a ‘proper cuddle’,  anytime later on in his childhood, if he was feeling at all unhappy or insecure he would ask for a proper cuddle and we would lie together.  Once again I sang to him.  He had many tests over the time we were in the hospital and remarkably he had no long term effects from the injury.  No brain damage and no epilepsy………Miracle…..Her Miracle.

Birth Jago

seersha-and-jago

Seersha and Jago 6th May 1992

Jago is my youngest son.  He will be 17 on 6th May-I can’t believe that my baby is almost 17!  He was a little bit late -due on the 3rd.  My husband had an important meeting in London to go to-all was well, but as he rounded the corner in the car, out of sight, my contractions started.  In those days we didn’t have a mobile so I knew that it was impossible to let him know.  so I rang and left a message on his office phone in London-a 3 hour drive away.

It was a beautiful May morning in Devon-the first real Spring day we’d  had that year.  The sun was shining , birds in full voice and the garden a picture of  Spring bloom.  At 11am I called the Midwife and she arrived within the hour.  This labour seemed gentle and I kept moving around- happy to be at home and in the safe hands of Sue.  We went upstairs and prepared my bedroom for the delivery.  I thought it might be a good idea to go to the loo whilst I still could!  I walked into the bathroom and over to the window and as I looked out onto the garden a very strong contraction came-the 1st painful one I’d had.  I remember consciously thinking “I really don’t want this pain” and a feeling of calm and relaxation swept over me and I felt every muscle in my body relax-totally relax and as this wave of relaxation spread from my head to my feet out popped Jago-the amniotic sac still intact-Sue must have realised something was happening as she came running in and caught him before he hit the floor!

Within 20 minutes he and I were sitting in the garden whilst I made Daisy chains and sang, completely content and happy.  Jago is still a joy-even as a teenager-and he still makes me sing!

jago-and-fergus-on-mothers-day-2009cai-fergus-and-marleyseersha-and-the-boys-2007

So here they all are now:

Jago at college studying the Countryside and Environment waiting for an apprenticeship in Yacht construction

Fergus in London doing an HNC in Music Production and wowing club goers with his wonderful sets.  Check out Audioscope on MySpace

Cai living nearby and working as a Tree Surgeon.

I am so proud of them….my beautiful babies!

Birth Fergus

rupti-and-fergus-jun-85

Rupti and Fergus

Fergus choose to be born on a gorgeous summer day.  We didn’t know it would be so lovely as it was only 4.22 am when he arrived.  Ever the night owl!  He was my first home birth and what a difference.  To be at home compared to hospital is so much better.  You can be who you are and feel safe and secure in your surroundings. I spent a lot of the labour in our bath which was a huge old fashioned one.

Rupti was there and very excited when I went into labour the previous evening.  My sister in law came and collected Cai as we felt the flat we were living in was too small and Cai too young to be left to his own devices whilst I was giving birth.

My Doctor had asked if she could be present at the birth as she had never been able to before.  I agreed as she was such a lovely woman so I had a personal Doctor and a Midwife and all on the NHS!  The contractions began to really get strong at about 2 am.  Interestingly my husband put on his best trousers for the event and I can remember saying to him-“Don’t wear those they’ll get ruined!”  but he insisted  True to the warning at some point close to the delivery my waters broke and he was soaked in amniotic fluid!  I remember him rubbing my back furiously and when Fergus was finally delivered claiming it was the back rubbing that had done the trick!

Home  is absolutely the best place to have your baby.  The medical profession prefer you to have babies in hospital because its easier for them.  You and your baby won’t catch a hospital based infection and the stress is far less than if you are in strange surroundings.  If there is a problem paramedics can be on the scene in minutes unlike women who are left for hours labouring and ‘forgotten’ in busy maternity wards.  You get one to one help from the Midwife and this is the same Midwife that has come to visit you at your house throughout your pregnancy.

Women are bullied and frightened into having hospital births.  Obviously there is a need sometimes to be in a hospital surrounding but I believe that if women were left to deliver naturally and at home that there would be far less complications and medical intervention.  There have been many scientific studies to back up my view.

Birth-Cai

cai-sept-85

Cai sleeping peacefully

Cai came into the world smiling although after the stressful time we’d had I couldn’t be sure why?  He is my oldest-23 years-strong as an Ox (which is Chinese sign) and a happy go lucky sort of man.

I went into labour one minute after midnight on Friday 13th September 1985-should have realised it was going to be tough! I’d spent the night walking the street of Belsize Park with my friend Eleri.  Everything was going smoothly and I felt ready to go into hospital at about 5am.  Another friend Bodhi picked me up and took me to the Royal Free in Hampstead.  Virtually as soon as I got there my contractions stopped and I was seen by a Midwife and then  sent home.  Back at home everything started up again and I was beginning to feel the contractions as they got more painful.  Once again off to hospital, once again walk through the door and everything grinds to a halt!  I had wanted a home birth but my Doctor at the time was against it and as I was young and inexperienced I conceded-big mistake!

The Doctors decided to keep me in. I was shut away in a room that was bleak and smelled of disinfectant, and conveniently forgotten about as I wasn’t being stroppy, occasionally someone popped a head in to make sure I was still alive but that was it  and to cut a long story short Cai was born 8.04 am on Saturday 14th September 32 hours after going into labour.  I am convinced if I’d been allowed to stay at home the delivery would have been much quicker and easier for me and him.  However as I said he was born smiling despite the stress and in my joy I forgot the horrible bits!